Disgruntled Workforce

Dear crappy Career waiter in upscale restaurant,

Have you by chance noticed that you have been doing the same job for the last 13 years? nd you’re 29? Whatever, I don’t care about that; you like what you do. My issue is the fact that as a 16 year old I was more capable of dealing with stress that you will probably ever be. When I say “hey relax, it’ll all be over by 8.30. Smile!” It is not an excuse to make the new, under qualified and gawky hostess feel like shit when she breaks 6 20$ wine glasses and a 200$ bottle of merlot at once. “Hey Emily, SMILE!” You Absolute Prick. I guess you didn’t know that those wine glasses and that wine came directly out of my meager pay, huh? You may have made some pretty amazing tips serving 45$ racks of lamb, but the hostess doesn’t get a cut at that botox meat market. We all know you were banging the cougars on the weekends after close. No wonder you pulled 400$ a night.

My point is that when I say “Hey relax and smile,” I’m doing it to calm you down. You should maybe think about trying to be more mature and supportive than a 16 year old girl. I was supposed to be the B****.

Sincerely,
Ex-Hostess (upscale restaurant who has moved on to university to get a*real* job, Canada)

P.S. No offense to Awesome career waiters, I truly appreciate your service.

Dear stressful job and retarded bosses,

Now that spring is here, I hate this job even more. I’ll be fair and say that there are some things I like about this job, but lately, the bad has been outweighing the good. There is nothing more depressing than working and being confined to a windowless office when the warm weather starts to set in and it begins to stay light out for longer. With spring comes a desire to be outside soaking up the sun, exploring the city, and living life to the fullest. Sitting in my office all hours of the day/evening/night/weekend pushing around piles of documents is probably the farthest thing from this.

My job wouldn’t be so bad — maybe even alright — if my superiors weren’t such fantastic idiots most of the time. The attorneys I work for usually have such unrealistic demands and never provide enough guidance as to what they need done and how. As a result I spend countless hours in my office fretting over stupid little details and worrying that the attorneys will just toss my work back in my face with instructions to change everything and do it a different way. Instead of enjoying the company of friends and the nice weather I sit in my office and toil over work for the second, third, and fourth times. I could have more of a life, and everything could run more efficiently and smoothly if the lawyers would take just 5 minutes to sit down with me and clearly explain what they need done. But no, most attorneys are too busy and too important to spend more than 2 minutes with me even though they are relying on me to get their work done. Ugh.

Wishing I was happy that spring was here,
Tim (paralegal, corporate law firm, Philadelphia)

Dear concerned workforce,

I live in Atlanta and haven’t been able to find an administrative full-time job for a year! I have taken just about any job I can to make ends meet.

Well, back in December, I took a day job and worked at this company for a day. They called me back two months later to say they wanted me to “compete for the job” against another temp. Well, they wanted to hire me but, since they got me through an employment agency, they wanted me to continue working through the agency as a temp, until June (this was in January) so they wouldn’t have to pay the massive fees to the agency to hire me.

Well, I accepted, out of desperation and on April fucking fools day, I find out that they are letting me go cuz’ they lost two huge accounts (due to mismanagement and no marketing)!

I couldn’t believe it! It seems that whenever I TRY to get a little bit ahead I fall backwards twice as hard! I am trying to remain positive however, it is difficult for me to do so. I am not one to give up completely but, that’s how I feel right now! What is keeping me from going on? I guess I have SOME hope left? But, not much….

Now, today the fat bitch boss tells me that I shouldn’t have told anyone about my leaving. Well, who CARES? I mean they obviously should have told me that AHEAD of time! I am just a temp right? Not the President of the company. What’s the big f*cking deal!

I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW I AM TRYING TO MAINTAIN MY STABILITY BUT, SLOWLY LOOSING IT!!!

Peaches (Atlanta, Georgia)

To those that hate your help desk,

I can empathize with most callers. I work a help desk and can tell you that 70-80% of the people working the phones here do not have basic computer skills (and are just plain lazy). For those of us that do, it is more frustrating for us than it is for you. One/first call resolution is what we aim for and happy customers is what we strive to see. We don’t want you to call back, not because we don’t like doing our jobs but so we know the issue was resolved.

Our average number of calls a day is 30-50. Count how many calls you take a day where you have to correct a problem that someone is trying to describe to you over the phone (50% computer illiterate and 10% poor English).

Having end users call back a 2nd time is disappointing to those of us who know it could have been fixed the first time around. It is a waste of your time and ours.

The main problem is that big companies (like the one I work for) don’t want to pay for experienced people to do the job. The pay sucks and it is comparable to being a airport control tower operator. The only difference is that when our systems crash people do not die. Support for some of our biggest systems is done by people who couldn’t do the most basic computer job and get paid more than more experienced people who are stuck on the help desk because the level of service we produce cannot be replaced by hiring a new person.

I pray for you and your help desk,
Joe Dirt (Chicago, IL)

Dear idiot coworker,

I hate my holier-than-thou dumb ass coworker. This bitch sits in her cubicle thinking she knows everything. I’ve caught her making mistakes that can cause our hospital fines from government agencies if not corrected. I’ve taken those same issues to my supervisor and she doesn’t tell my dumb ass coworker. My perfect and Godly supervisor (bullshit) just brings it up ‘in general’ in our monthly meetings.

Now, my coworker, this 32 year old mother of 6 claims to be an accountant. But she can’t add, subtract, or calculate an account to save her life. I hope she didn’t go to college around here. Wherever she went to school they are turning out idiots. Plus, to top it all off, she thinks she has seniority over me. Now, she started as a temp in our file room. You tell me how you go from the file” at a cash register. That’s about all the accounting she’s qualified to do!!

Cheryl (Georgia)

Dear Managers,

When I request a list of phone extensions in order to transfer callers, I am not trying to make extra work for anyone. I only want to help callers. Plus, I am tired of looking like a fool when I tell a caller, “That person does not work here.” And the caller replies, “I got a letter from them dated yesterday.” Please help me to help you.

Trying to provide a basic level of customer service,
Miss Priss (Government, San Francisco Bay Area)

Dear New Job that I wish I never took,

Why did I even think that accepting your job offer would be a good idea? Yes, you pay a bit more, but the people here suck. Most of you stay shut in your little hidey hole cubicles all day, working like little busy bee workers and don’t talk to anyone unless it’s work related. The other half of you are way too happy to be real. Are you people serious? What’s there to be happy about? We can’t talk, we work like slaves, I don’t even get to take my breaks and when I take my lunch it’s like I’m committing murder. I’m sorry, but if you choose not to take a lunch because you’re so devoted and want to get the work done, so be it. But in my opinion, the work will always be there, and I’m not losing my right to a lunch, as short as it is.

Meanwhile, I’ve been told by the boss that my training is temporarily “on hold” because things are so busy. So, here I am, expected to answer phones all day with customers asking me questions and I’m supposed to actually KNOW what I’m talking about? This is CRAZY!

Not to mention the fact that my boss and my “trainer”, are always in meetings all day and ignore me if I come over to ask a question. I mean it’s not like I have a customer on the phone or anything. But wait, oh yeah, we’re here to make a great customer experience.

And then, add to the experience, the fact that the “trainer” is always mean to me. When I do finally get her not in a meeting and ask her a question she bites my head off and acts like I’m a moron. Because, oh yeah, I’ve only worked here for a few months, but I’m supposed to know everything that she knows.

Not sure how much I can take,
UpState NY Girl (customer service associate, financial institution, new york)

Dear (not always right) Customer,

We have received the unit you sent back to us for the third time. You keep saying it’s DOA, no lights, doesn’t start up, nothing. We sent you a brand new one the first time you complained and when we got the original back, darn if it didn’t work fine here. Then you sent the second one back, same complaint. We tested it, works perfectly. But, since you’re our customer and we aim to please, we sent you a third one which has just arrived back from you once again. This time I had one of the techs call you and ask just exactly how you are setting it up. You explained that you unpacked it, put it on the table and pressed the “On” button - and it was just dead. Almost fearfully, our tech asked, “Where do you plug it in?” “Plug it in???” you responded, “I didn’t know you had to plug it in!!”

Please call me - I have a list of competitors I’d like to provide to you for future orders.

Jane (huge POS company, Virginia)